Darkness and Snowfall
by JNGT
Summary: Years after the curse broke, Emma and Regina are living together with Henry. Snow refuses to accept them, forcing Emma to choose between the family she's always wanted, and a love she doesn't think she can live without.
1. Chapter 1

The distress on Snow's face as clear. Regina's words had cut her to the bone. Her expression betrayed the hurt and despair that rocked its way through Snow's body. Regina was then only one who, with a single word, could cut her down into tiny little pieces. Snow turned without thinking storming out the door not wanting to give the evil queen the satisfaction of seeing the tears fall from her face

"Snow wait" Emma shouted as she chased her mother out the door and down the street. Regina watched from the doorway as Emma caught up to Snow. Watching as mother and daughter embraced in the street. She only forced herself to close the door as they began to walk down the street arm in arm. Alone. No matter what she did, or who she was with. When the dust settled it was like every time before her standing alone surveying the wrecked. Forced to spend eternity trusting only herself. Emma Swan was supposed to be the saviour but as Regina carefully watched the door, a part of her needing Emma to come running back through them, it was clear that saviour only applied when you were on the right side of the battle. Regina had spent her entire life being on the wrong side. Sometimes by choice, others simply because she knew nothing else. No, Regina though steeling herself as she flicked the lock on the door, it was time. Time to give up the fantasy that she could have her happy ending. She would continue to see Henry when she could and that would be enough, she would make it be enough. Regina was familiar with the darkness she had spent her whole life there. She knew how to survive, and she wouldn't let this continue, because she knew that Emma Swan was the only one who had the power to break her.

….

Emma sighed as Snow made them both hot chocolate banging the cupboards closed. She didn't know why she continued to force these "family dinners". It always ended the same way, Snow would say something, Regina would get defensive, words would be screamed and Snow would leave in tears. It would be up to Emma to pick up the pieces.

"How dare her! I let her live in her house free of prosecution. And this is how she repays me? She has the audacity to insult my father, the very man she killed!" Snow ranted at Emma trying to explain what had been said this time. Emma just sat there, knowing from experience that Snow would eventually wear herself out

"I let her see you" That woke Emma up

"You let her?" Emma growled not liking where this conversation was going

"Well, I mean, it's just Emma I gave you are blessing because I love you and that god forsaken woman seems to make you and Henry Happy" Emma glared at Snow, Emma was a grown adult and she make her own decisions.

"Look…. Emma I'm sorry I'm just so emotional right now. Please forgive me?" Snow stared at her daughter with tear filled eyes. Emma cracked unable to handle her mother's tears.

"its fine Snow" Emma took a swig of her hot chocolate

"You'll stay here tonight right? I mean Henry and David won't be back until tomorrow. We could have a mother daughter weekend?" Snow sounded so hopeful Emma knew that she would end up going along with it.

"Sure Snow"

"Great. I'm really glad we get to spend more time together. I know I can never make up the years we lost but I… I love spending time with you" Snow choked out, hugging her daughter close. Snow fled upstairs determined to wash the tear stains off her face. She felt lighter than she had all evening. Things with Emma were finally starting to get easier.

Emma stared into her hot chocolate. Her mother's words cut into her like knives. They had lost so much time and being around Snow made the other woman so happy who was Emma to take that away from her. And quite honestly Emma had never had someone care so much before. She loved the feeling she had around Snow and David, the feeling that no matter what happened these two people had her back, would love her unconditionally. Emma had never experienced unconditional love before. Jumping from foster home to foster home. It was loved until you screwed up and now, now she embraced this love that they gave her. She quickly took out her phone sending off a text to Regina. The other woman would understand, Emma rationalized to herself. Regina knew how tumultuous Emma and Snows relationship and she knew how much it mean to Emma. Emma grabbed her and Snow's hot chocolate her only thought to make this relationship with her mother work. Regina, Regina she could deal with later.

….

Regina sat in the dark, sipping on her tea. She had wanted something stronger but she knew alcohol only weakened her resolve when it came to the saviour and this time, this time Regina was truly done. She had reached the end of her rope; years of pain and abandonment swarmed up and threatened to drown her. She sighed into the darkness, Henry was out camping with David, Emma was with Snow and Regina was here. She hated this, this feeling. Her phone went off, a text from Emma. Regina hesitantly opened it

Hey I'm really sorry but I won't be home tonight. Snow's really upset but I'll call you tomorrow. I love you, night

Regina had the sudden urge to throw her phone across the room. Snow was upset and the world just came to a screeching halt. She didn't even ask if I was all right Regina though sadly. When her and Emma had started dating she thought, for once in my life someone might actually put me before Snow. But it was the same as it was before. Snows pain was more important, more worthy than hers. Snow never cursed anyone, Snow didn't use dark magic, Snow, Snow, Snow. Enough was enough Regina thought I cannot continue to live my life so focused on her. It was starting to tear Regina apart from the inside out. And even Emma's presence wasn't enough to soothe it. Years ago Regina would have come up with another scheme, another plot to get rid of Snow, but that was before Henry…. Before Emma. But this, this pain that was eating away at her. Regina needed it to go away, she needed the pain to stop. Emma was forever connected to them and it was only a matter of time before they deemed their daughter's relationship with the evil queen unacceptable. There was no doubt in Regina's mind who it was that Emma would choose, her family, the ones that Regina herself had taken from her. It was what had started this fight Regina thought…

….

Emma left the room to grab more appetizers from the kitchen smiling at herself. The get together between her girlfriend and her mother was going exceptionally well. It was already nine thirty and no one had left in tears yet. It was a new record. As soon as Emma left the room Snow glared at Regina.

"She deserves better than you"

"As you keep telling me dear" Snow felt rage fill her at Regina's indifferent tone, the way she acted like she was better than everyone else.

"It's only a matter of time before she leaves you" Regina merely raised her eyebrows smirking at the woman in front of her. She leaned forward to whisper

"I think not"

"She's going to see the real you and then she is going to come running back to live with me"

"Ah but you see dear there are certain things that I do to your daughter that keep her… satisfied" Regina leaned back revelling in the feeling of triumph as anger and disgust flittered across the other woman's face. Snows words had hit to close to home, had been too close to the unconscious fears that Regina harboured in regards to the saviour. She had to disarm Snow before she realized the power could weild.

"You're disgusting"

"Really dear. I'm disgusting and your family is just filled with angels" Regina spat

"Stay away from my family" Snow growled her hands balling into fists as she fought to control herself.

"That might be difficult dear, considering two of your family members live with me" Snow just glared having no real response.

"Is it hard for you, knowing that everyone in your family desires to be with me?"

"Emma is confused and you're taking advantage" Regina snapped taking advantage of Emma? She couldn't stop the anger as it rose like a wave inside her. She was too far gone, too deep within her rage to filter what she said

"Your family is known for taking advantage. Your father"

"My father was a good man"

"Do you know what that 'good man' did to me" Regina spat watching as shock and understanding flashed across Snows face.

"No that's not possible! He wouldn't do that" Snow gestured wildly

"Is it such a surprise to you Snow we were married after all" Regain growled rising to her feet refusing to show the lingering pain she felt over those memories. Regina embraced the cold mask of the Evil Queen.

"No" Snow whispered "My father was a good man. He loved me, he loved my mother and you took him away from me"

"He deserved what he got" Snow's mind was running too fast for her to keep up. What Regina said, if it was true would shatter her memories of her father. She took a breath even Regina wouldn't lie about something like this would she? She was the Evil Queen she would say or do anything to hurt those around her.

"LIAR" Snow yelled jumping to her feet refusing to listen to anymore of Regina's lies. Hearing yelling Emma ran back into the room wondering what was going on.

"What the hell's going on?"

"Your girlfriends a liar" Snow shouted. Regina took a breath push back the memories that were on the cusp of overtaking her.

"I did not lie" Regina whispered pain laced inside her voice, but Emma was too concerned about the situation to hear the hurt in Regina's voice. Snow threw one last scathing glare at Regina turning to flee out the door. Emma moved without thinking her insecurities rising up within her, she couldn't lose her mother, not again.

"Snow wait"

….

Regina stood, walking up the stairs and getting ready for bed. She pondered her current situation. Maybe Emma and Henry were right maybe she could have her happy ending after all these years. The townspeople were borderline friendly to her these days. A spark of hope lit within Regina. Maybe she could be happy, could be put first. Maybe the darkness wasn't all that awaited her in the future. But there was one thing Regina knew, could feel it deep within her bones. If she wanted to truly be free, her happiness lay with someone other than Emma Swan.

….

Emma stared at the ceiling in her room. She wished Regina was here with her arms wrapped protectively around her, pulling her tight against her. Emma couldn't sleep without the other woman there. She needed Regina to keep her nightmares away; to keep her safe. The love she felt for the former Evil Queen swelled inside of Emma. She was so happy with Regina, it was easy to be together, once they had gotten over the constant arguing over everything and the fear that one would take Henry away. Just when Emma's will was starting to break and she was determining how to sneak out of Snow's apartment and into Regina's arms she got a text. Smiling as she read Regina's name across the screen.

Goodnight Ms. Swan.

Emma flinched, Regina only called her Ms. Swan when she was mad at her or joking and Emma was positive that she wasn't joking.

Do you want me to come over? I can sneak out without Snow even noticing I'm gone.

No. Goodnight.

Emma started sadly at her screen, as if staring at it longer could change the words. Regina was mad at her, Emma hated it when they fought.

Breakfast tomorrow?

Emma asked hoping to break the tension that was showing through Regina's text. Something was seriously bothering the former mayor and the saviour was determined to figure out what it was

No I have plans tomorrow. Enjoy the time with your mother.

Is everything alright? What's wrong?

Emma sat desperately tapping her leg waiting for a response. Getting tired of waiting Emma decided to go see for herself. Right as she reached the door her phone beeped

I'm fine Ms. Swan do not, I repeat do not come over the door is locked and I will not be letting you in.

Tell me what's wrong!

Regina please

Regina talk to me!

Nothing it had been an hour and Emma had got nothing out of the old mayor. She had called and texted, she would be over there now if she didn't know from experience that Regina's threat of locking her out wasn't an empty one. And it was cold out tonight. Emma laid back in her bed keeping her phone close. Emma had a terrible feeling deep within her gut. The feeling that was telling her that she shouldn't have left Regina tonight. But aside from her guilt there was something else, something more. With horror Emma realized that the thing she was feeling was fear. She was afraid, deeply afraid of what this meant for their relationship. Emma knew it wasn't always easy between the two of them, but she thought they were both happy. When had that changed? And more importantly how had she not noticed?

Emma had the sinking feeling that whatever was happening with Regina it was going to have disastrous effects on their relationship.

….


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time. **

"Hey Mom, Grandma were home!" Henry shouted, dropping his camping bags by the front door for Charming to climb over.

"Mom?" Henry shouted again walking further into the apartment to find her sitting and staring blankly at the wall.

"Hey Henry" Emma responded tiredly. "Hey Charming, Snow's lying down upstairs"

"Okay Thanks Emma, Henry I'll see you tomorrow?" Charming patted Henry on the shoulder as he made his way upstairs to say hi to his wife.

"What's wrong Mom" Henry questioned. Emma sighed wrapping her hands around the glass of water sitting on the table

"Nothing"

"Mom come on, I can tell your lying"

"We had a family dinner night" Emma spoke so quietly that Henry couldn't hear. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously he asked her again

"Fine! We had a family dinner night alright!"

"MOM! You promised after last time that you wouldn't have any more without me there" Looking back Emma wished she had kept her promise to Henry

"I know but they, your mom and Snow, both wanted to do something with me and since you and Charming were out of town, I thought…."

"You thought you would put them both in a room together and have a nice dinner?"

"Something like that" Emma muttered unable to believe how naïve her plan was.

"I just wanted them to survive one dinner Henry, and they almost did" Staring at his distraught mother Henry decided to cut her some slack

"What happened?" He questioned flopping himself down on the couch beside her.

"Everything was going fine, I mean it was tense but fine and I left the room and when I came back Snow was running out the door and Regina was standing there…."

"Well is she okay?"

"Yeah she's just upstairs resting, she didn't get much sleep last night"

"Not Grandma I meant mom. Is she okay after their fight" Henry quickly read the look of guilt that flashed across Emma's face

"You don't know do you?"

"She won't talk to me"

"You mean you haven't been home yet!"

"No. Snow wanted a mother daughter weekend and Regina won't answer my phone calls so I've been staying here" Henry stood up having heard enough.

"Come on Mom lets go home"

"Maybe I'll just stay here"

"You can't hide from her forever"

"Yeah says you, she's not mad at you"

"Mom I'm tired let's just go home"

"Fine"

"Fine"

….

Emma stood nervously outside the door. She had lived here for the past year, and yet she was nervous to go inside. Emma almost felt like she should knock.

"Seriously Mom" Henry brushed past her throwing open the door and announcing their presence to the entire house. So much for Emma's plan of stealthily sneaking inside.

"Hello Henry dear, welcome home. How was your camping trip?" Regina inquired hugging her son tightly.

"It was fun, grandpa told some epic horror stories"

"I'm glad you had a good time Henry but its late, why don't we call it a night and you can tell me about it tomorrow" Henry nodded his mom did look tired, and something was off with her. Henry ran up the stairs hoping to give his moms some privacy

"Hey" Emma said softly trying to capture Regina's gaze

"Hello Emma" Emma smiled If Regina wasn't calling her Miss Swan then it had to be a step in the right direction.

"It sounds like Henry had a good trip"

"Yes it does" Regina turned towards the stairs, she was exhausted

"Regina wait"

"What is it?" Emma paused taking in the dark circles under Regina's eyes.

"Never mind"

"The guest room is made up for you" Regina called as she marched up the stairs

I guess that answers that question Emma muttered walking towards the guest room knowing that she wasn't going to get any sleep for yet another night.

….

"I don't get it Belle!" Emma burst out angrily slamming her fork down on the counter.

"What don't you get Emma?"

"Regina! It's like I don't exist. She walks around the house treating Henry the same but she won't let me come near her. Won't talk to me. God forbid I step foot into our room!"

"Have you apologized?"

"For what?"

"For whatever it is that started all of this"

"But it wasn't my fault"

"Regina thinks it is" Belle pointed out.

"Look Em, I don't know what happened at this family dinner night but if Regina's really upset you need to go apologize and make things right. It's only going to be worse the longer you wait.

"Yeah I guess you're right, thanks Belle""

….

Emma walked into the kitchen placing the flowers she had bought like a peace offering on the island between them. Regina turned facing Emma and looked down at the flowers.

"What's this?"

"Regina I'm sorry" Regina narrowed her eyes, but she couldn't stop the small smile that formed when she glanced at the beautiful flowers

"For what"

"For making you host that stupid dinner. It was a bad idea I should have never put you and Snow together without Henry and I'm sorry"

"That's what you're apologizing for? For making me host the party. That's it?"

"What else is there?" Emma shouted, her emotions at being held at arm's length these last few days starting to get to her.

"Do you even know what happened Miss. Swan at the 'stupid dinner party'?"

Emma blamed her lack of sleep on her inability to filter the next words that came flying out of her mouth

"What always happens when you and my mother are in a room together! You say something snarky about the past she runs out and I'm left picking up the pieces!" A look of hurt and betrayal shown on Regina's face

"Is that what you think" Regina whispered

"No! Shit! Look Regina I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean to say that"

"You mean you didn't mean to say that out loud Miss Swan" Regina's mask was firmly in place, her voice giving nothing away. Regina turned her feet carrying her towards the front door and away from Emma.

"Hey don't run away from me!" Regina paused her hand on the door knob

"Why Miss Swan when you're so good at it"

"Regina!" Regina kept walking as Emma's voice slowly faded the farther away she got from the house. She wearily rubbed at her eyes. Nothing had changed, nothing! In all their time together Emma still thought she was the one to blame. The reason behind all of the fights, god forbid the precious Snow would be the instigator. Enough was enough. She needed to act, to end things, to do something. But every time she looked at Emma the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. But for her own sanity, she needed to put herself first. Mind made up Regina walked back into town thoughts swirling of just how she was going to do it.

….

Emma stared blankly around the kitchen. When had Regina become so unreachable? They hadn't had a real talk for quite some time. Emma was oblivious, Regina and Snow had fought many times before, but it had never been this bad. She was tired of the stress that was eating away at her. She was the sheriff, investigating was what she was good at! And the first step was finding out just what exactly the fight was about.

….

"It can't be easy on her either, always having to balance between the two of you"

"But she doesn't, she just sides with them and apologizes to me later"

"It's Emma you know how scared she is of losing her parents, her issues with abandonment"

"Yes I'm aware. I'm the person who took them away from her, trust me I haven't forgotten"

"That's not where I was going with this. Regina, Emma loves her mother, but I also know that she loves you"

"I don't think that's enough anymore" Regina whispered brokenly

"What's not enough?"

"Love. It's not enough, not anymore. It's been a year I thought it would change but it hasn't. It's the same as it was twelve months ago"

"What did you think was going to change?"

"I thought that she would choose me. Just once, just one time I wanted to be the person she ran after first. I can't watch her run through another door chasing someone else."

"Do you expect her to choose between her girlfriend and her mother?"

"No I don't. I'm not the same person anymore, I'm not the evil Queen I once was."

"I know that" Ruby placed her hand on top of Regina's. She didn't know when she and the former Evil Queen had become friends. Maybe it was when Emma did something stupid and everyone took her side because the saviour couldn't be in the wrong. Maybe it was when Ruby realized she knew how it felt to be on the wrong side, to stare across and see how blinded the 'good guys' could be. Whenever it had happened, it was real. Not many knew about it, Snow would freak out if she saw them. But Ruby didn't care, Regina needed a friend and so did Ruby. Snow was always busy with her family and well not many people made time in their day for the increasingly lonely wolf. Which was why when Regina enforced a weekly lunch at her office to catch up Ruby couldn't say no. Because someone had finally made time for her. And so for the past six months every Tuesday Ruby would show up at Regina's office and they had lunch. It was like clockwork, and it gave Ruby something to look forward too.

"But I don't think she does"

"Emma?"

"The whole family, they watch me waiting for me to mess up to prove to them that they had been right this whole time; that the evil queen was just waiting for the right moment."

"That's insane"

"It's what they do. Well Henry doesn't, not anymore"

"I'm sorry Regina" Regina nodded

"Ruby I think…. I think I need to end things with Emma"

"Is that what you want?"

"It's something I need to do. I just want to be happy"

"Emma doesn't make you happy?"

"She does but I need someone who chases after me. I'm just tired of feeling so lonely"

"Hey you've got me"

"Of course I do dear, shall we go howl at the moon together" Ruby smiled

"Ah there she is, the Regina I know" Regina begrudgingly smiled at the silly wolf sitting on the other side of her desk. Regina did enjoy their lunches together.

"What are you going to tell Emma?"

"The truth"

"If you need me or someone to talk to after or before, just call me okay? Send up a wolf signal of something"

"Do you have a specific whistle you answer to Miss Lucas" Ruby laughed smiling

"You know Regina I do enjoy our lunches together"

"As do I dear, just don't start humping my leg" Ruby shook her head smiling, glad she could provide Regina with a little bit of a reprieve from her personal problems. Ruby stood to go, knowing that they both should get back to work. Before she could leave a voice stopped her

"Ruby thank you for listening to me and for being my friend" Ruby turned and hugged the mayor before she had a chance to react. It was the small moments when just for a second Regina would drop her walls and Ruby understood why Emma had fallen in love with her.

"Thank you for being my friend Regina" Regina smiled at Ruby

"Now run along dear I have important paper work to finish"

"Of course don't let me distract you" Ruby left the room, wanting not for the first time after one of their lunches to find Emma and hit her. Did she not see the damage she caused? Did she not understand that people had limits and Emma had been pushing Regina to the very edge of hers since they first started dating. Walking out onto the street Ruby glanced up noticing Charming and Snow a few blocks away. Ruby swiftly turned to take a different route home, she was in no mood to hear Snow bitch about Regina.

….

Emma crept in the door, it was late and she knew no one would be up. She hadn't seen Regina all day. She had been gone by the time Emma got up, and Emma would have sought her out at lunch but Regina had a meeting every Tuesday at lunch. Emma slowly crept up the stairs, tentatively opening the door to peer into the darkened room.

"Go away Miss Swan" Regina stated refusing to roll over but automatically knowing who stood at her doorway. Emma padded softly across the room to stand by the bed facing Regina's back.

"Regina I'm sorry okay. I promise no more dinners for a while" Emma gently pulled back the covers, creeping underneath them and slowly wrapping her arm tentatively around the former queen. Tensing to see if she would be pushed off. When Regina did nothing Emma pulled herself closer snuggling into her.

Regina sighed, unable to stop herself from falling into the warm, comforting embrace that Emma offered. She didn't forgive her, couldn't forgive her, but in this moment she was content to fall asleep in the arms of someone who loved her.

"Night Regina" Emma muttered sleepily, finally able to sleep her arms wrapped around the woman she loved.

"Goodnight Emma" Regina whispered into the night, her words circling around the room. Her last thought before sleep overtook her was if this was the last night they would fall asleep in each other's arms.

….


End file.
